So I'm in the Air Force... I'm 21 years old and I've just been given the chance of a lifetime. I went from being scared shitless about being kicked out to doing projects for my flight chief in civilian clothes during the duty day... How's that for turnaround?
Now I'm more perplexed... I like this chick... Well I like a couple of chicks actually... And I don't mean to disrespect them by calling them chicks (especially with the types of words used nowadays) but it protects their anonymity. Here's my problem: How do you date someone who: a) is so worried about things around her despite your best efforts to calm her b) is completely what you want in a girl yet prolly will never see guys as an option (Not a lesbian but just not into dudes (maybe it's just me ^_^;;)) c) just enjoys running you in circles so that she feels like she has some control over you. My current solutions have been a1) after trying to crack the shell once more, moderately ignoring b2) becoming unsure of who I am around her c3) not giving the satisfaction of pulling me around.
The problems as I see it with these "solutions" is that despite this shameless plug for a relationship, I'm not going to be able to salvage anyone. I can't put a move on girl A also because she is so worried about someone else seeing. Girl B is... hard to pinpoint and so I'll leave her in limbo and remain a friend until such time she sees fit to be interested in boys (thought that woulda happened by now). Girl C annoys and intrigues me. My last girlfriend was a complete bitch (even though I am still friends with her, that's just her MO, had nothing to do with me). I don't want Girl C to turn into her. But if I continue to be nice and sweet, I can see her dark side developing into a conniving, vicious, body stealer...
Oh well... nough about that... I've started reading...er working in two books... Mathematical Ideas and College Physics. It's rather refreshing to be using my brain again... and not trying to deal with common sense shit like ATC... Ok... ATC is hard a shit and you need to be smart to do it... but I can't deal with that kinda stress... it's rather nerve wracking and with a track record like mine, I would not like to be placed in a field where mistakes aren't allowed... It's bad enough my smoking is increasing to 4-5 cigs a day... If I was working in the career field I'm sure I'd be going through a 2-3 packs a week. No I think I'll try linguist. I love languages and that's one of the few fields that I actually enjoyed working in.
*sigh*... I need to be up tomorrow around 5... I should sleep now and type more later... night world
No comments:
Post a Comment